Letter to God...

Dear God,

I have decided to write this letter to you because we have somethings to discuss.

You see, my hurt hearts, though not as much as before. You have brought people in my life to make me understand  our fragile hearts. And so with you guiding me, I move foward with a 'boo-boo' on my heart. No neosporin will take the scar away. I will always know it's there. People will always know it's there. But as depicted in the picture above, you hold it. You hold everything on Earth. You hold my heart.

I don't understand why my little David had to go. But what I do know is that you turn disasters into masterpieces of art and grace. You have walked with me the past 4 weeks in showing me each week a new step, a new path, a new normal. You've shown me in my spirit and in my heart that it's ok to dream again, to live again, to hope again, and to do it all with courage - again!

So this is my letter to you to tell you that I'm ok with it all. I understand you're soveriegn and nothing I can do can change things. However, what I can do is change my perspective about it all, understanding that you - you are in control. So we start life back at one. Where I learn to love again, dream big dreams - again!

I understand more and more everyday how you must have felt giving up your only son. You and I will always have this in common. The pain you must have felt to understand and know that your son would be the sacrificial lamb. I understand vividly how children are precious in your sight - because they are precious in any light.

And so I move forward. I ask that when it gets hard to handle, you take it from me. Allow me to continue to experience your peace and strenght. May I never take the life you have given me for granted and may it ever be worthy of the blood your Son shed on that cross for me. May it be that my little David looks down from Heaven and see his earthly father be the man that You have called me to be. God - I live for you first. But I chose life, and in doing so, I choose to live for me.

Remind me what it feels like to dream again. Put in my heart and mind new vision, new dreams - those of which you have for me and in doing so, may I honor you with everything that is in me.

Finally, as hard as it may seem - Thank you for David. Thank you for allowing me to experience it ALL. All of it! Every part of it ALL has a purpose in you - and for that I still love you.

Daddy, you are still Good no matter what. That - that I know firsthand.

You were, are, and will always be LOVE.

Love you Dad.

With all my heart.

Your son.
Charles David Lopez