You know you try hard every day to do your best. There are just some days you just don't want to try so hard.... what for? who cares? it's not like i'm being recognized or looked at by anyone. Sure I mentor and lead, but I've always had a hard time finding people that would help me lead and mentor me. Students ask me all the time: how do you do it? I tell them: I just do.
Yes, I wouldn't be anywhere without God, my faith, and my church. But I want to be mentored and exposed to areas that I've never been exposed to. Learn the ropes, if you will, and move forward. Maybe I'm just talking jibberish because I'm trapped by a glass cieling all the time.
Sure, ok, it's not my time. But when it is ... watch out - i'm going to take over by storm. just watch. Lopez ain't no fool. I'm being prepared to kick some **s!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Decisions, decisions, decisions...
Isn't it just like God to make us wonder about his will for our lives, in such a way that we have no other choice, no option - as a God fearing person - but to continue NEEDING him. I think he loves that about this whole father/son relationship. That as authority and power and ruler over everything, and that as omnipresent and omniscience person that He is.... you would think that he could just share with us the entire plan. Just lay it out for me. Just show me what it is that I, as a son of God, a song of love, needs to do. simple and plain. But I can see God saying: that would be too boring. You know my God, the God I know, is a fun God. He loves playing jokes with us, and teasing us a bit with life issues, careers, relationships, etc.. But He will NEVER cross the line. He is STILL good.
Knowing this, I trust fully, wholeheartedly, in a God that I cannot see, but have a couple times; in a God that loved and loves me so much that He STILL pursues me, conmoves me, evaluates me, analyzes me, watches over me, lifts me, and guides me - to say the least. All He asks is that I commit myself FULLY to Him. and in Him be made FULLY whole.
So we continue the race that we started never in unrealtic expectations of failing, but a hope to succeed. I know I will fail, it takes Hope & Faith to succeed.
Knowing so, I put Him first.
Decisions, decisions, decisions... they become easier to make when you trust and know that the one who made you , gave you, and forgave you... loves you, respects you, hopes in you, relies in you, and confides in you - to follow Him, to grow in Him, to Love in Him and through Him.
I recognize where my salvation comes from and I recognize where my provider resides.
I come to the alter to alter of thanksgiving and sacrifice to place my wants and needs before Him. Because without Him first in my life, I would not be here, nor be there. So I ask you God to show me, prove me, and love me, and guide me to the open door that's for me. I realize many doors can open, but only 1 is for me. Lord, would you make happen for me, how you made it happen for King David. He wasn't perfect by all means. But He had a heart afters yours. Would you give me his courage, his boldness, his thrust for you, his common sense, straegic mindset, and favor to pursue what's yours and undo what's not? Would you give me Samson's wisdom and respect?
So that by whatever I do on Earth would have honor in Heaven and bring glory to your name God!
you are loved and desired.
your son.....
Knowing this, I trust fully, wholeheartedly, in a God that I cannot see, but have a couple times; in a God that loved and loves me so much that He STILL pursues me, conmoves me, evaluates me, analyzes me, watches over me, lifts me, and guides me - to say the least. All He asks is that I commit myself FULLY to Him. and in Him be made FULLY whole.
So we continue the race that we started never in unrealtic expectations of failing, but a hope to succeed. I know I will fail, it takes Hope & Faith to succeed.
Knowing so, I put Him first.
Decisions, decisions, decisions... they become easier to make when you trust and know that the one who made you , gave you, and forgave you... loves you, respects you, hopes in you, relies in you, and confides in you - to follow Him, to grow in Him, to Love in Him and through Him.
I recognize where my salvation comes from and I recognize where my provider resides.
I come to the alter to alter of thanksgiving and sacrifice to place my wants and needs before Him. Because without Him first in my life, I would not be here, nor be there. So I ask you God to show me, prove me, and love me, and guide me to the open door that's for me. I realize many doors can open, but only 1 is for me. Lord, would you make happen for me, how you made it happen for King David. He wasn't perfect by all means. But He had a heart afters yours. Would you give me his courage, his boldness, his thrust for you, his common sense, straegic mindset, and favor to pursue what's yours and undo what's not? Would you give me Samson's wisdom and respect?
So that by whatever I do on Earth would have honor in Heaven and bring glory to your name God!
you are loved and desired.
your son.....
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Letters are intimate
Lord, I've done all I can. I feel confident that I have all the concepts of this material. But God, I give the rest up to you. I give this test up to you.
Once a fear of success - now I feel implored to succeed- for your glory - for the calling you have in my life. I want this diploma. I need this diploma. But not more than I need you in my life!
Yes, God. I struggle with the discipline of communicating with you and reading your word. I fear what you have to say, because i know to whom much is given - much is required. At one point, I didn't want anything else, anything more.
But you have called me from out of my mother's womb. You have called me by name. And though I suppose. I have purposely failed you so that you would pick someone else to you.
I can't escape your love.. your grace, your calling in my life.
My heart pitter-patters at the simple touch of your love. When I enter with worship unto you, you touch me and show yourself real to me. you waste no time in showing up. you waste no time explaining yourself to me. I know who you are and you know who I am. there are no need for introductions and vague language. It's just Father and Son. Creator & re-image.
So take my life - I lay it down. At the cross where I am found right now. All i have i give to you my God. Take my hands and make them clean, keep my heart in purity. that i may walk in all you have for me. Here I stand Lord, arms open wide! I am yours and you are mine. (United Hillsong - Arms Open Wide).
I sit here in this library, alone, but not lonely. deeply refreshed. the insides of me are watered like a thirsty trees in a drought.
I stand besides myself - and I get out the way. I put myself aside. I'm not as important as I think I am. You are my provider. You are my only Father. You stand beside me when I've been in the dumps. When no one saw what I was going through, you stood beside me and you delievered me, you helped me up, you gave me a life to worthy to be called yours and your son's. So Lord, I surrender to you and forever I will praise... Have your way Oh God... I lay it all down knowing that you are God, not I. I lay down this controlling nature of myself and allow you God to work in and through me. As I praise you in this ironic Library setting, I committ to you a disciplined life, worthy of your calling, worthy to be called yours oh God.
i love you my Father.
Once a fear of success - now I feel implored to succeed- for your glory - for the calling you have in my life. I want this diploma. I need this diploma. But not more than I need you in my life!
Yes, God. I struggle with the discipline of communicating with you and reading your word. I fear what you have to say, because i know to whom much is given - much is required. At one point, I didn't want anything else, anything more.
But you have called me from out of my mother's womb. You have called me by name. And though I suppose. I have purposely failed you so that you would pick someone else to you.
I can't escape your love.. your grace, your calling in my life.
My heart pitter-patters at the simple touch of your love. When I enter with worship unto you, you touch me and show yourself real to me. you waste no time in showing up. you waste no time explaining yourself to me. I know who you are and you know who I am. there are no need for introductions and vague language. It's just Father and Son. Creator & re-image.
So take my life - I lay it down. At the cross where I am found right now. All i have i give to you my God. Take my hands and make them clean, keep my heart in purity. that i may walk in all you have for me. Here I stand Lord, arms open wide! I am yours and you are mine. (United Hillsong - Arms Open Wide).
I sit here in this library, alone, but not lonely. deeply refreshed. the insides of me are watered like a thirsty trees in a drought.
I stand besides myself - and I get out the way. I put myself aside. I'm not as important as I think I am. You are my provider. You are my only Father. You stand beside me when I've been in the dumps. When no one saw what I was going through, you stood beside me and you delievered me, you helped me up, you gave me a life to worthy to be called yours and your son's. So Lord, I surrender to you and forever I will praise... Have your way Oh God... I lay it all down knowing that you are God, not I. I lay down this controlling nature of myself and allow you God to work in and through me. As I praise you in this ironic Library setting, I committ to you a disciplined life, worthy of your calling, worthy to be called yours oh God.
i love you my Father.
Hold me now Oh Lord!
On that day when I see
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace
All my fears swept away
In the light of your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free
Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven rise to you alone
No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now
In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
Where Your name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day
Where the wars and violence cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven rise to you alone
No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your name
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your name
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your name
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your name
No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now
No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now
No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace
All my fears swept away
In the light of your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free
Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven rise to you alone
No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now
In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
Where Your name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day
Where the wars and violence cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven rise to you alone
No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your name
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your name
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your name
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your name
No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now
No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now
No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now
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