first days of being 26

Well, my bday was the 5th - this past Monday. I had a reflective time this year. Yes, I also had a fun time and even now i'm enjoying my birthday month - i mean holiday parties are fun!! Well, my wifey threw me a surprise party. I guess I was down about 'thinking' I was not going to have a party. It showed me a couple things about myself. I guess I am spoiled. But I guess I just love to be surrounded by those that I love and that love me. It's an awesome feeling. Yes, I'm turning older; but that's all good. I'm grateful that I have not left any rock unturned. I will de doing some personal challenging things this year. Leaving my job; finishing school. I will graduate this year. I have a personal goal to continue my vocal coaching, begin piano classes, music theory, and end the year with dance /hiphop classes. I'm setting myself up for success, in case it comes my way.... I'd be ready. So I continue to work on myself and promote improvement. I would like to learn another language - french or even chinese - just for me. I have lots of plans. Reality always has a way of doing things! hehe
On a second note: I just finished completing my first year of marriage. wow.. time flies when you're having fun... is what we both say... It's been a challenging year and yet a very good start!
I will have lots more to say... but I have to get going.. in orlando....celebrating my 1st wedding anniversary...

Crossroads...and 26

So where do I begin?
I have resigned my place of employment, after 5 years; but I have no set job, yet. Initially, I was resigning to take over the family car business, but that is now up in the air. So I began to prepare a plan B, which has now become, Plan A: to find a new job, that's a little more exciting and challenging. I have applied at like 14 different places and nothing yet; though, the company's I applied to are large and that can take some time - it was only last week. But it's nerve racking...! I'm thinking about being 26 - and no job, yet. I'm married and I have to support my wife. I have to be strong, even if I feel weak. I have to keep on going on, when the goin' gets toughin'. But I know how to preservere; keep strong. I've done it all my life. And I don't know how to not be strong and be the bigger person. You know we, as society, say to our children, don't cry, be a big man. Well, I don't know how safe that is... If we don't cry, and if we just don't spill over... the moment comes when we just break - then it would have been too late to sit down and talk; by that time, it would be prison time for killing a bully at school: columbine! I say cry, cry, and cry... but don't let anyone see you - you're strong remember... let the fascade take you - to be strong, even when you feel like a piece of crap, and then be stronger - that's discipline, that's almost art, but remember that you and God know one thing: you're only a fascade. The real you is trapped due to circumstances and limits: what a husband should do, say, doing what's 'right'. I cry. Yes, i cry. I used to cry in my sleep. Now I just sing in my car. I let it out. Sometimes I'm trapped by a phone call or never being alone: but, Yes. I cry.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not depressed or sad about my life. On the contrary, I love my life, my wife, friends, and church. There are times that I just don't get the: where do i belong?
I'm at a crossroads, i tell ya. I can do so many things and be good at so many things. But as me to be good in just one area and I can't. But I'm not an expert in any one area. So what do I do? Do I go for a management job or do I fit more clerical? You know.... now that's something only God can do in the hearts of those that read my resume and cover letter. I pray.
I will be 26 soon; december 5th to be exact. It is also my 1st year wedding anniversary. Do the math - i was married on my 25th b-day. And guess what? I saved alot of money switching to Geico. I'm serious. My car insurance went down... but because not only did i marry, but i also turned 25. That's all i was looking forward to at 25. I mean, there are certain ages that you know things are going to happen. 18- register for selective service, and register to vote. 21 - you can drink legally! 25 - insurance rates go down. I will be 26. I celebrate!
Funny how life is.... we cry... we pray... and then we celebrate. Go figure...and then we ask God: what are we crying about? And he has no idea. So you can't figure out if you're just crazy or just mental. Hopefully crazy!
I've cried in my heart - and prob still do - like I am now.
But I will pray soon and I'll touch and hear God...
And then I'll celebrate... cause tomorrow is another day of life.
Cry. Pray. Celebrate.
this is what happens when you're in the in between ... the crossroads... and turning 26!

1st item up for business...

If you are reading this, welcome to my blog. You know I've never really cared for these before. But I have been wanting to jot down some of thoughts. Funny thing is that a couple years ago, while eating at a chinese restaurant, I got a fortune cookie. I craked it open and I read what it said: You are a man of many words, and one day you will write a book. I totally agree; I didn't a fortune cookie to tell me that! Either way, I've tried a couple time to keep a journal and what not. Now I own about 10 journals and they all are pretty much empty. So here is my neo-tech way of attempting to express my thoughts. So listen up... Charlie's here and he's got lots to say.... I might say some controversial things or questionable things, but hence, I would have reached a goal: stir up conversation, a dialogue, a form of expressions between two or more people about a particular idea. I'm here... and boy do I have things to say... 2nd Item up for business: Where I stand today in life? A crossroad. (Tomorrow's chapter)
Good night and God Bles...