Intro to Book .. one day.... lol

Where do I go from here?
The story behind the reunification of Father & Son
Through the eyes of the Son

(can I relate the pains and anguish he went through while Jesus was on earth and his pains on the cross and what he said: why did you forsake me? He looked up. (just as I looked up and said will you be my father?!” And then they were reunited…now I’m not saying that this is going to happen all the time, but I’m certain of this - there’s hope. What I thought was dead become alive in a promise… I first got to see and know my heavenly Father as my true identity, my creator, and I am made in his self-image. Now of which I resemble more and more like each day. At the same time, I see my earthly father and see the meekness of a man that tried his best to raise me, but in his frailty, was oblivious to the authentic manhood needed for every son.



Introduction

It had been about ten years before I had ever seen my earthly father. After a sour divorce, my father left to a foreign country and began his own life. For a long time, I dealt with the hurts and pains of a father leaving me. Then I dealt with the pains of forgiving my mom for ‘driving’ him away. I believed for a long time that this was the cross I had to bare. These were the nails being hammered into my palms. They struck the very chord that I thought could not be touched.

When he left, I knew that I would have to go through much inner-searching and healing if I were ever to offer myself to a godly woman. I knew this event was going to cause some issues in my life. I began to search for that thing that would fulfill my time so as to not be home. I asked the ultimate question: Dad, why did you leave me?

Seven years passed by the time I was at a point to realize that I needed to see my identity through the eyes of my Heavenly Father. I came to the realization of Psalm 2:7: You are my Son; today I have become your Father. This word came as a healing hand to my soul. It brought me to a place of dependency on God. I had to learn how to depend on people again. I had felt like a major artery of my life gave up on me. Not only gave up on me, but he gave up fighting for his marriage and for his children - that’s how I felt.

I was ok with the idea that my father may be dead or maybe did not want anything to do with me. I was now in a place where I could move on with my life. But I believe that was only a preface to what God had in mind. Later in the year, an opportunity arose to reconnect with him. It was a Kodak moment at the airport when time stopped while we hugged and chatted. It was definitely a God-moment.

Three years after that initial visit, we would still talk on the phone and communicate. We would talk about every other month or so, nothing extravagant. But God had other things planned. God would have us reunite, permanently. As my dad arrived at the airport, I remember thinking: what now? I recall sensing some anxiety as to how I would treat him now that he would be back in my life everyday. I realized there would be some emotional adjustments to be made quickly. I was in survival mode when I had to plan his funeral and make casket arrangements from overseas. It was my duty. But now, my everyday life will involve having my dad back into my life, talking to him everyday, and seeing him continue to age. I found myself asking: what do I do now? And where do I go from here?
I quickly found myself in an amusement park of questions.

This is my story of my challenges and issues, hang-ups I conquered, habits I haven’t. This is a story of a son longing for a relationship with his dad, and realized that maybe dad was there all along…. Let’s embark on this journey of pain, revelation, healing, restoration and ultimately of hope! There is hope! This book will not bring your Father back, but it will bring us to the Father, and we will be sons again. Knowing what it is to be loved by a genuine loving Father is our hearts cry.