Letters are intimate

Lord, I've done all I can. I feel confident that I have all the concepts of this material. But God, I give the rest up to you. I give this test up to you.
Once a fear of success - now I feel implored to succeed- for your glory - for the calling you have in my life. I want this diploma. I need this diploma. But not more than I need you in my life!
Yes, God. I struggle with the discipline of communicating with you and reading your word. I fear what you have to say, because i know to whom much is given - much is required. At one point, I didn't want anything else, anything more.
But you have called me from out of my mother's womb. You have called me by name. And though I suppose. I have purposely failed you so that you would pick someone else to you.
I can't escape your love.. your grace, your calling in my life.
My heart pitter-patters at the simple touch of your love. When I enter with worship unto you, you touch me and show yourself real to me. you waste no time in showing up. you waste no time explaining yourself to me. I know who you are and you know who I am. there are no need for introductions and vague language. It's just Father and Son. Creator & re-image.
So take my life - I lay it down. At the cross where I am found right now. All i have i give to you my God. Take my hands and make them clean, keep my heart in purity. that i may walk in all you have for me. Here I stand Lord, arms open wide! I am yours and you are mine. (United Hillsong - Arms Open Wide).
I sit here in this library, alone, but not lonely. deeply refreshed. the insides of me are watered like a thirsty trees in a drought.
I stand besides myself - and I get out the way. I put myself aside. I'm not as important as I think I am. You are my provider. You are my only Father. You stand beside me when I've been in the dumps. When no one saw what I was going through, you stood beside me and you delievered me, you helped me up, you gave me a life to worthy to be called yours and your son's. So Lord, I surrender to you and forever I will praise... Have your way Oh God... I lay it all down knowing that you are God, not I. I lay down this controlling nature of myself and allow you God to work in and through me. As I praise you in this ironic Library setting, I committ to you a disciplined life, worthy of your calling, worthy to be called yours oh God.
i love you my Father.