One day at Chapter Camp...

It was Sunday, April 30th. The college/career group went to this camp called Chapter Camp, sponsored in part by Intervarsity. www.ivcf.org
You know as a leader sometimes you sacrfice your wants and desires for the good of the team or person you know needs support. Well, i did both. I'm not going to boast here. But I am going to say the facts - i wasn't getting paid for the week off - that's a big chunk of change. (new to the company and haven't accrued enough vacation time - but it was a condition of employment that I had set up before they hired me). As well, i had signed up to be in one 'track' or session of classes, but because i knew it would mean alot to this one person that was going alone in his 'track', I decided to join him. At first, I was like what am I doing here? This is a new convert class and two... i've done bible school and campus crusade for christ... i almost began dredding the week. But by Tuesday, God was sending me a message through my 'track' teachers.
One of them gave her own quick testimony. Didn't really grow up with her father. In her walk with God, she knew God as Provider, Authority; but did not know Him as Father. Baaaam! I was struck conscience to see that God was going to work with me in this area this week.

The entire week we began in the morning with bible studies. Every study had something to do with Father. I began to learn and see God as Father and his fatherly characteristics. Day after day I wouldn't share with anyone. I kept counseling, mentoring, and encouraging the group. Until Thursday night God began to show me why I was scared and so indifferent at the mountain scenery and bible college setting that was so radiant.

I was scared to engage because I didn't want this experience to be taken from me as if the rug was pulled under me, like how I felt it was before. [Side note: I went to bible college for 2 years. I was supposed to finish. But when I came home one Christmas break, my mom told me that they had been divorced since October of that year. I had to come home and help my mom with paying the bills and be her support.] So I was scared something was going to happen to me. I didn't want to be here at this mountain. It reminded me of the hurt and pain I felt when I had to come home. Thursday night, while the group was singing praise and worship songs, I felt God just bring those emotions up. I felt so scared and hurt and it was so painful to be there. As soon as they were done, I ran to hide somewhere. As I was heading towards the cafeteria area, I couldn't hold in my pain. I was balling like a little boy, crying... why? this hurts so much. and I fell to my knees and was just giving it over to the Lord. "Lord take this because it's too much for me." I sat there in the cold for almost 40 minutes and went back to the cabin to sleep.

Friday morning was 'retreat of silence' for 3 hours. Basically, it was quiet time for 3 hours. You let God speak to you while you meditate on Him and on His Word. I didn't know where to go, where to start, and how to do this. I just went the opposite way. Something in me told me that God was going to deal with me and show me something. I found a place where 2 creeks meet and form a stream. It was beautiful. I put down a towel and looked up. I saw huge trees with spring green colors. I laid down a towel and felt so peaceful - I fell asleep. I slept for about 45 minutes. When I woke up, I had new energies.

I began to feel God lead me to John 7: 38: Whoever believes in me, as [ Or / If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me. / And let him drink, 38 who believes in me. / As] the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." I then felt God lead me to the stream. I saw Him washing my feet, washing my hands, and me drinking from the stream. And so I walked over to a rock in the middle of the stream. Sat on it. I began to wash my feet and my body was taken over by the Holy Spirit. I cried and God was just showing and telling me that I was being commissioned for this new walk and season. I was also being cleansed from my previous walk and given a new 'pathway' to walk. I then began to wash my hands. Again, I felt the Holy Spirit just dwell inside me. God would tell me that it's ok. I'm to start over. There's no guilt on my life. I'm free to move in His Spirit. I then stretched over and began to drink water from the streams. As I drank, I felt God tell me: you will thirst no more.

As I was there on that rock, I began to cry out to him as my Father. Will you be my Father? I know you as authority and ruler, but not as Father. Can you show me what it's like to be your son? I began to cry out and call him Abba Father, Papi, Dad. I felt God embrace me and just touch me. He then led me to a passage Psalm 2:7: You are my Son and today, I have become your Father. Wow, huh? A verse just for me, again!

So, at the end, though I felt like I had no idea what I was doing there. God did. He knew he was going to solve some issues in my life and make sure they were done with. I experienced God in an awesome way, just like I would at Bible college. He was so real to me then, and now he's so real to me again! I thank God that the group was able to hear from God themselves and hold tight to revelations that God would place conviction in their hearts about. It was a blessing and honor to hear those testimonies and see these students grow up before my eyes. I am privileged to have been a part of the leadership group. I feel God has placed us here for a purpose and has taken us from 'glory to glory'.

May you experience God the way I have. May you understand his Father figure and come to enjoy being His son!

I can ultimately say: One day at Chapter camp.... I met my Father.